i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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