I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
