there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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