ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
