I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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