see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
