Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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