when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
