Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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