the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
