Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
