Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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