Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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