i may or may not be watching the land before time
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..