I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i already hear my dad disowning me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
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From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.