So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
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That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.