Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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