I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
