fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
