Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I could fuck to npr.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
