that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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