I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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