they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Randomize