So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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