I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
