My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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