ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
