I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My hand turned me down
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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