the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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