I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
