I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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