he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
