the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
