so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
