i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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