She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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