And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize