I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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