yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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