For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
