god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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