How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
