Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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