didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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