why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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