I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and she was petting her beer can
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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