had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
