Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize