just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
