We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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