He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
