Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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