So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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