how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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