my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
