I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
