Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
