I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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