my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
