i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
