i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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