I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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